r/maliciouscompliance | Don’t Mess With A Tattoo Artist…

Only English in your household? OCM
This story happened a few years ago. I used to work for a well known alarm company
doing installs when we got a new guy in. He seemed fresh off the boat with terrible
English and me being fluent in Russian, he got tagged with me. Cast: Me Ivan-new guy Karen-homeowner Background. I’ve been working with Ivan for a few weeks
before the malicious compliance, we spoke Russian between each other but changed to
English whenever the customer was around to maintain professionalism. Most customers were ok with this as you could
tell Ivan was struggling with the language and I would do all the talking to the customer
until we got to Karen. That day. It started out just like any other, we get
to the house, a lady greets us at the door (didn’t know at the time this was Karen
as there were no signs), do a walk around and everything seems fine, Ivan has not spoken
a single word yet. We get to work in the basement and I start
talking to Ivan like usual. Not even 5 minutes later, Karen comes running
down the stairs demanding that we stop talking in whatever and this is an English talking
household and she does not want her kids to hear it. We apologize and continue working. Ivan is mostly staying quiet until he tries
to ask for a tool he doesn’t know the name for in English and says the name in Russian. Karen runs out of the laundry room and start
berating Ivan for breaking her rules. Ivan is stumped but mumbles an apology and
Karen huffs away in triumph. A couple hours later, while running wire,
Ivan was drilling through the studs and came in contact with a household electrical wire. A flash and pop and Ivan starts cussing in
Russian. Immediately, the laundry door bangs open and
Karen is standing there and without missing a beat Ivan turns to her and switches to English,
probably to explain what he is saying. I was amazed by his vocabulary there and it
seemed like he was swearing for a solid minute before starting to run out of choice. Karen turned red and started yelling at us
to get out and I knew there was no saving this dumpster fire so we just packed up and
left. On the road back to the office I found out
Ivan is a fan of English crime and gangster movies where he learned his share of profanity. Getting back to the office, we got written
up but the boss still had a chuckle. Ivan stayed for a few more months before leaving
the company and I never found out if he realized how malicious his compliance was. As for the customer, I have no idea what ended
up happening to her as I never went back. “I pay for 500MB I want 500MB”
I work on a telecom sales line but most of our calls are customer care or technical that
end up pressing the wrong buttoon because they use a super strange phrasing so people
get confused and we are obligated to try to sell them things. So most of the job is just transfer call to
other lines. So this lady calls Lady: “I want to know how many MB I have on
my plan” Me: “well, you apparently have 16 GB” L:”But in my contract it says I have 500MB” M:”Yes, but when you subscribed you must have
gotten some special deal, but don’t worry 16GB is a lot better than 500MB” The lady then gets really upset screaming
if she pays for 500MB that’s what she wants to have. I ask her to wait till I transfer, I talk
to my colleague in customer care before transfer just to tell her that this is what the customer
wants and to her not even bother to explain that 16GB is better than 500MB. Out of curiosity I took a look at her data
usage and most of their cellphones expend somewhere between 2 to 4 GB, so she will pay
at least 20 or 30 Euros in extras from now on. I don’t do enough work? OCM
Obligatory on my cellular. Tl;Dr at the bottom. Welcome back to Miss Victoria’s stories of
sit on it and twist. Here in this world, MC is not only a means
to an end but can often result in petty revenge. This story takes place in my current job. So, sit back, snuggle up and prepare for another
laugh at the idiots of the world. As I have mentioned in my previous stories,
I am the assistant manager in one store of a local chain of Bodega/gas stations. The only thing missing that would give you
the instant “bodega feel” would be selling loosies for twenty-five cents (quarter for
a square). One of my co-workers is a very young kid who
just graduated highschool this summer. He, is where this story begins. I took up this job back in May of this year
(2019) and have been doing some combination of the strangest shifts that could have only
been put together by M. Night Shamalyn (sp?). So, some days I’m opening the store. When I’m on my day shifts, I attempt to make
the night shift employees lives easier by doing a considerable amount of their shift
work, before I leave for the day. For example, I sweep, mop, change coffee,
vaccume the rugs, take out trash, clean the parking lot, and stocking tobacco products
(were in a dry county, so no alcohol here) I have done my job like this since arriving
here, and, I do it for everyone. I have never had a complaint until this week. The younger co-worker who I’m going to call
Pita, since he is as white bread as it gets, a royal Pain In The Butt and because it’s
not only an acronym but also a real word as well. Pita decided he was going to throw a holy
heck fit about how I do things, and went to the manager about me. His complaints were, I don’t do enough work,
I don’t properly stock anything, and I take too many smoke breaks..(our shifts literally
cross over for maybe an hour.) He went off on my manager in the most Karenesque
manner believable. Now, me being…well me…means I don’t take
crap from anyone. But, (big but) my manager is my best friend,
so I do my best not to create more issues for her. So, it’s malicious complaince time. See, if I’m not doing enough work, but I’m
doing all his busy work, I supposeeeee it’s time for me to focus on tasks that need done
so the manager can go home at a decent hour. It’s been a week and I have done none of his
work, but the cooler and paperwork are on point. The best revenge came when just before I had
to leave and I looked at him to say “Pita, the coffee is out of date and burning, you
need to change it.” That boy hasn’t had to do coffee before this
week because I’m always doing it for him. The crestfallen look made it completely worth
throwing off my schedule. Of course he still complains about me, but
my work is beyond reproach and my customers love me. I won in
the end. “New” time clock rules…thanks for the OT
OCS Not sure if this malicious..but it is compliance. I work for a very large big box store. We are given a 9 minute ‘cushion’ where we
can punch in or out without penalty. So since my shift starts at 1pm I can punch
in at 12:51 and not be considered early and can punch at 1:09 without being considered
late. The same goes for our end of shift punch outs. My department is encouraged to take the 9
minutes before to get set up before the shift starts (we work in the back room, sorting
new product off the delivery trucks). Since we are not allowed to have over time,
we’ve also been punching out 9 minutes before shift end. My store has recently reorganized the management
team and my department got a new manager. In a department meeting we were told that
we are no longer allowed to punch out at 9:51pm (it is still allowed by corporate). She feels that we can still get a lot of work
done in that last ten minutes. I asked “what if we punched in at 12:51?” She said “That doesn’t matter. The shift ends at 10pm, you punch out at 10pm.” Ok, fine. First paycheck after this new rule has me
with almost 2 hours worth of over time. Never pee off your tattoo artist. Being Friday the 13th, while waiting for my
tattoo, I was reminded of a situation a few years ago with my friend Liz who’s my primary
artist and an especially Karen type lady and her Kyle esque boyfriend (double k for both)
who came in to get cheap butt tattoos. I watched this whole thing go down but wasnt
involved per say. So Liz was doing a quick custom job on me
and my buddy Chris (yes we got matching tattoos, Star Wars Yin/Yang for those wondering) I
went 2nd so liz and I could catch up. Double K bypassed the massive line out the
door and down the stairs and walked straight up to the artist area to try to skip the line. This was shut down pretty quick and they were
told there’s a huge wait in front of them and they’ll have to go to the back of the
line. Well Double K didnt like this one bit and
started to throw a fit. Like legit tried to pull me out of the chair
because “hes getting what he wants and I was here first”, she wasnt, i was there at 8 am
to help Liz load in OJ and Doughnuts and the 10 people in line before me knew this too. Well one of the artists just finished and
said “I’ll take you two”. We were all kinda flabbergasted by this but
Liz got this big crap eating grin on her face so I knew something was up. I figured the dude would do a terrible job,
go too deep, use the wrong needle, something to just royally freak up their day but he
did none of this. He pulled his flash sheet and said “pick one”. Karen picked something and he asks where she
wants it. Back of her ankle, so dude gets to work free
handing it while Double K keep looking at the line like they won something. Well they did win something, the smallest
tattoo I’ve ever seen. This thing was no bigger than a dime, from
10 feet away all I could see was a little black spot on her leg that looked more like
a mole than a tattoo. Double K lost it. Screaming about him assaulting her and forcing
her to get a tattoo and they’re gonna call the cops and all that. Then they tried to skip out without paying. They were rather impolitely informed that
theft of service is a felony and that cops are only 10 minutes away. They tried to pay up the $13 but that’s where
the guys brilliance really shone through. His sheet said “Custom” at the top. All custom tattoos were $31. Not only did this lady have a very tiny, and
very intricately detailed tattoo, she only had a $50 on her and they had a big butt sign
at the register that said simply “NO CHANGE”. Double K ended up paying the shop minimum
anyway, but she got her tattoo ahead of the line. Want to be a hardass on field day? OCS
Not a long post, but a little story for the night. For those of you unaware, field day is a day
in military where after work, troops (in my case, marines) clean the everloving crap out
of their rooms and barracks. Good section heads will go with the “looks
good, smells good, it must be good” policy. My section, however, is not so lucky. For those of you familiar with the military,
keep in mind that my entire section has been in the marines for over two years minimum
at this point, so we really aren’t new anymore. We know what we’re doing. But for some reason, on this field day, our
section head (not really our section head, but just a slightly less junior guy put in
charge of inspecting, PTing, and everything our actual section head doesn’t feel like
doing), decided to make us field day till way later than we usually do. He wouldn’t leave until he found something
to fail us on, no matter how long it took. Then instead of coming to our rooms on his
own, he said “come get me when you think you’re ready.” Bet. Our section decided as a whole that we are
just going to sit and ride out the night until he either comes to us or gives up and releases
us. It’s been 3 hours so far since then and
nothing yet. Turns out this post was longer than expected,
but if you made it this far, that’s the end of my rant. I’ll update in the comments. You want it microwaved again? You sure? Okay… OCS
Not my story but one from a guy called Alex who used to work at the daycare I attended
as a child. The law was different back (now you need mega
qualifications to work with kids here) then and he was only about 15 or 16 I think at
the time so I try not to judge him too harshly for his behavior here. A little boy (let’s call him Brian cause
idk what his name was) wanted something heated up in the microwave. He’s probably 6 or 7. Well, we all know that microwaves love to
cook the dish and the outer 2% of the food while leaving the rest of the meal crapy and
cold. Naturally Brian is unimpressed and demands
it be microwaved again and is already crying and shouting from this one incident. Ah, kids. Alex’s heats it up again. Brian can’t see the steam and demands Alex
do it AGAIN. After a solid five minutes of trying to explain
to Brian the food is now hot just eat it before it gets cold again and if we heat it up again
it will start burning, Alex finally relents and does what the tantruming child demands. Now the food is TOO HOT and Brian wants it
BACK IN THE MICROWAVE TO COOL DOWN. A short fuse later, Brian’s now on his back
on the floor screeching that his food be microwaved again while poor Alex is trying to figure
out how to handle this situation (where are the adults??? This is why we had to change our laws) Anyway, the story ends with Alex giving in
and saying “fine I’ll microwave it AGAIN if that’s what YOU REALLY WANT” and the
food was just ruined. Dried out and burned. This is why we don’t let children make their
own choices.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. I Have Ighorela A Entitledkiba But Fight I'm Not English Soo Ya But Lets Go Soo I Was Playing Pokemon Red Yas I'm 13 And I Play Pokemon Soo What and A Kida This To Me Gif Me Your Pokemon Game I Thisd No And The Kida This To Me Gif Me Your Game Now I Shisd No And F*ck Off and I Was Whacing A Way The End

  2. What kind of place says no change?
    I understand it's cheap but with prices like $31 who brings in exact change?
    I understand that it's to make Karen suffer by spending almost twice as much for a tiny tattoo, but she still got to cut a line so it was like express service.

  3. she asked how many megabytes she got, you told her how many gigabytes she had, when she said she was paying for 500, you should have told her she was getting 16000 like she asked. that fuck up was completely on customer service inabilty to communicate or do basic arithmetic.

  4. When i was in High school. Kids sold Cigs or lucys for 50 cents for 1. Unless you got the Good stuff then it might be like $1 to 3 dollars for one.

  5. The 500mb story reminds me of the story of the time some fast food joint (can't remember which) tried to compete with McDonald's' 1/4 pounders with 1/3 pounders, but failed because people thought 1/4 was more than 1/3.

  6. Ffs it’s “per se”, not “per say”; “defuse a situation”, not “diffuse a situation”; “lo and behold”, not “low and behold”. How come so many native speakers get these so wrong? My mother tongue doesn’t even have homophones to the same extent as English and still I have no trouble making the distinction! It’s so frustrating seeing all of these mistakes being consistently made on almost every one of these videos!

    On the same note, it’s “leviOsa”, not “leviosA”.

  7. Yeah, my last tattoo took 5 hours, not counting the 30 minutes for lunch the artist took. So I was there for 5 and a half hours. And mine is 5 inches high, about 3 wide heart shaped tattoo. Multiple colors and details inside. There was a guy in there who was in at least an hour before me and still there after I left, getting a full back piece continued. Couldn’t tell you how many collective hours that has taken so far and how many more before it’s done. That’s like a years long project done bit by bit. He told me the first session took the artists full shift that day, and was the entire outline then would come in after some healing to get more and more filled in.

  8. I still struggle with the megabyte gigabyte etc translations in my head. I think it might be the dyscalculia. Stupid brain. But I know that I need to look it up before I look into getting new services or whatnot.

  9. This is why you should mention for example 16GB also as 16000 Megabyte – if you're not the guy who just wants to f the customer. He clearly knew what could be a better solution for this problem, when not bragging about his IT knowledge and insisting everybody should know that. I'm sure she was rude and a full karen – but this was his fault, based on that dialog.

  10. On Friday the 13th there are specials that tattoo artists prepare a sheet of custom designed for you to pick from for cheap. So that is why there was a long line.

  11. I am American and speak English, but am of French descent, and train dogs professionally in German. I train my personal working dogs in a mix of the three languages, so no one but me can control my dogs, because they don't know the commands I use. I do this for safety in the field so no one else can tell my dogs what to do, and because it is fun.

  12. Tattoo story: it was most likely a Friday the 13th special. Tattoo shops will often do deals on the "cult holidays" such as any tattoo off the standard sheets (usually stereotypical stuff like roses, skulls, crosses, etc.) for only $13. Those long, custom design, 2+ hour long jobs are done by appointment only. Most tattoo enthusiasts have their own regular artist, and we work out a basic mock up of our design via email or social media well before our appointment time. The Karen and Kyle from the story sound like basic dipshits who have no respect for the artists, or for themselves for that matter if they are willing to permanently tattoo something on their bodies that was essentially ordered off a cafeteria style menu of generic images rather than take the time to pick something meaningful or better yet design a custom piece of art that is unique to them. Argh! Rant over…let's get back to slamming the Karens and Kyles of the world, one story at a time!

  13. I don't get why someone would be so psycho about her kids hearing a foreign language. It's not like if they hear Russian their hair is going to magically turn into one of those fuzzy hats with the ear flaps. What could possibly be bad about a kid hearing a different language? O_o

  14. Why would anyone want 500mb of anything? What decade do they think this is? Man, and I thought I was an old geezer. At least I know there are 1024 megabytes in a gigabyte, so I'm not quite ready for the retirement home just yet.

  15. Friday the 13th tattoo deals are basic line black tattoos that can take a maximum of 7 minutes each. That's why their was a line Jake.

  16. He said at the beginning they were having a special on the tattoos. Sometimes they will do that to get people in who may be first time and not want to commit to some elaborate, time intensive & extremely expensive..

  17. Tattoo story is pure BS… no-one since before WW2 does a tat for 13 dollars. My smallest ink from more than 40 years ago maybe one by two inches was 35 at a shit hole parlor outside MacDill AFB in Tampa fl. Aside form that that "artist would have lost his license for that kind of BS.

  18. the tattoo story. it sounds like they had a special for friday the 13th for $13 tattoos. so generally you have a few to pick from, simple designs they bang out in like 15 minutes.

  19. @StoryTime a bunch of tattoo places do special events where the tattoos are pre-made/chosen and you pay less and give the artist like 5 bucks as a tip. There is one in las vegas where I live. https://www.facebook.com/events/669226986891358/?active_tab=about this is the Facebook page to see what was most recently offered at the event dates. I've gotten one on an earlier month that's a little cartoony iron man. It's great. If you're interested, I suggest you check with your local tattoo shops to see if they do something similar.

  20. The tattoo line was probably for flash tattoos, like for
    Halloween, Halloween themed tattoos are $31 or on Friday the 13th, bad luck theme tattoos are $13 – and they’re just a few drawings by an artists that you pick and have tattooed on you

    I have a Jason Voorhees one that I got 2 years ago on Halloween

  21. I can't help but feel that the MB story teller was the asshole. The lady was rude sure but was also clearly ignorant regarding how big a GB is so instead of just saying it was better he should have simply explained how big that was in MB.

  22. To answer: A lot of tattoo artists have a Friday the 13th deal. Small preset tattoos for $13 or a similar deal. The tattoos are usually small and easy to do thus fast.

  23. Why would anyone allow a child young enough to be in daycare dictate anything, ever? Are these workers retarded? Children do not set the rules. Children do not dictate to adults. Children who throw tantrums are carried to another room and the door closed. Anyone who cannot grasp these simple facts shouldn't be working in a daycare center. They should be attending the daycare center.

  24. Man I used to enjoy your content until you began overdoing ads with this type of low effort video. Can’t even finish a single story with out one or two ads in the middle of it. Well this is the last time ill be watching your content.

  25. Did OP try to explain what 16 gb would bee in mb? It seems like even a dumb-dumb would comprehend the difference if it were spelled out in terms they (vaguely) understand.

  26. Telecom guy is an asshole. She obviously had no idea what the difference between MB and GB is, and his explanation was shit. That's part of his job, so if he isn't capable of explaining 1GB = 1024(1000 rounded)MB in clear terms, he should find an easier job.

  27. So the line out the door thing is for speed tattooing. A set group of tattoos the artist can whip out quickly and without much effort. A lot of shops have special deals for those tattoos specifically.

  28. shop i used to work at had 13 tattoos that took 15 minutes or less for $13. most of the artist proposely got it done at the 13th minute mark

  29. A lot of tattoo shops do $13 tattoos on Friday the 13th but it’s all pretty small basic stuff a good shop can have someone in and out pretty damn quick

  30. My place gives tattoo virgins a single free quarter-sized tattoo if brought by a customer or a piercing customer. I think that is the most brilliant and insane deal in the world with their skill, but if someone gets entitled about it, they don't hesitate to toss the person out. I love those guys.

  31. I knew how to cook several things by the time I was six, and could use the microwave. You could not get me to dial a number on a phone, though. The keypads were different, I always got it wrong.

  32. I think the last story, with the kid and the microwave, it’s probably because the parents at home have said they can’t take it out until it’s cooled down, so in effect, they are leaving it to cool down in the microwave and that’s how his logic has got him to thinking that it needs to go in again to cool down.

  33. I have a story about microwaves. I went to school and they had a microwave, so I put in my food in the microwave with the foil on. As at home we didn't have one. And it sparked. I thought it was doing it's own thing. Then later that day, another kid did the same thing, and the teacher told him off about it. Then I learned about it. How it worked.

  34. I think in this case the ISP rep is at fault. I work in IT and when I was younger I even worked as a technical support representative (shudders) and I am very aware that muggles don't always understand terminology. The ISP rep could have just said "Your contract states you have 500 megabytes, but you actually have 16 gigabytes. 16 gigabytes means you have 16 thousand megabytes."

    When you use different denominators and customers have no idea about megabytes and gigabytes, it is your fault if you can't convert to the same denominators. All they hear is 500 and 16, and then some techno babble word. If you say 500 and 16,000, they understand the difference and the techno babble doesn't confuse them.

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