[Gabble bang] Sold [Applause] well, im sure glad Tim and I stopped by for the studio auction, for ‘OneStepCamp.org’. …Plug Well, I’m glad you shelled out all that exposition Yeah, but why are we all in Black and White? Oh, the colour was the first thing to go Those two paid top dollar for it Come Lurkey! We’re going to put the colour back in the ‘Last Airebender’ movie! Number 333, a DVD in peices Some of you may recall, the strange film of, The Phantom of the Opera [Shock gasp] The Phantom of the Opera!? Wasn’t that supposed to be the grand adaptation of the epic Broadway musical? Well yeah, brought to you by Joel Schumacher The bat credit card guy? [gun shot from off-screen] 20! It deserves a Nostalgia Critic review 30! Shark Jumping would do it better! 40! You don’t even review movies 50! Your face looks weird when you smile I just thought we were throwing out random insults 60! It betrayed everything that was good about the musical 70! It betrayed everything that was good about the book! Somebody actually read the book? Need I remind you that copyright around here has been more tighter than this review series’ budget Doing a copyrighted movie, with copyrighted songs might not be the best idea oh, yeah Well, Webber already stole from Pucinni Maybe we can find a way to review it, despite all that Well then, perhaps we may frighten way the joke of so many years ago with a little recreation Gentlemen! Oh, right it’s just me [Fandumb music plays] The Phantom of the Opera was novel in 1909 by French author, Gaston Leroux well its not the best novel in the world it was still interesting and told in a unique way for the time period kind of a bio-graphic recap of falsified true events you know, like in old school, This Spinal Tap It follows the deformed phantom who lives in the sewers of an opera house he’s secretly giving voice lessons to a young ingenue named, Christine Daae and like any creepy teacher, the Phantom is also attracted to her The morale of the story is about the beauty beneath the ugliness a sentiment shared in many French stories like Beauty and the Beast and Hunchback of Notre Dame But, its not just about the music being beautiful but it’s also about the power of compassion and empathy he suffers from his bad choices, while also being redeemed becasue of his good ones The story was so timeless that they made film after film about and in 1986 Andrew Llyod Webber turned it into a smash Broadway Musical so big that people were waiting for a movie to come about it Webber and Schumacher first wrote the script all the way back in 1989 with original Broadway cast members Michael Crawford Sarah Brightman, set to star but after a tough divorce between Webber and Brightman the movie got delayed delayed util they just said, screw it, lets just throw in the guy from 300 which is what we’re reviewing today [Glass Smashing] Or atleast trying to What is it now, Hyper! The only reason I agreed to play Carlotta is becuase I thought we were gonnna get a love scene Carlotta’s the singer who’s jealous of Christine she doesn’t have any love scenes! Why else would you cast me as the ego-centric, primadonna character then! No hable ingles ugh! [Moan] Whoa, whoa! Hyper fan girl you cant leave! you score high in the 12 to 29 demographic Plus with a subset of 65 to 70 year olds, we’d rather not talk about I don’t care I’m leaving [Both] No no no no no Great! Now whos gonna do the opening number? Perhaps I can be of some assistance Who are you? My name is Aunt Despair and I’ve got a special connection with the studio No you don’t I represent the fandumb ghost who has lived here for years No he hasn’t He sends you, a message I doubt that He welcomes you to his production Lady, I’d fire you if you worked here but you don’t, so I’m just gonna call the cops Fine, he just recommends that you replace Hyper Fan Girl with Beth A chorus reviewer? Eh, why not? It’ll just be like when Christine replaced Carlotta in the movie Do you really have to spell that out? You’d be surprised [music starts to play] [Music becomes grander] Ah, Ah! Bravo! That was amazingly adequate Ya hear that? That’s your remarkably passable girlfriend Honey, that was amazing! how did you get so phenomally okay? Well, I literaaly had a celestial being teaching me how to sing Alright uh, that doesn’t seem weird to you? Nope! Does it charge alot? No, totaly Pro-bono Alright then I guess if Christine in the movie can fall for a super natural entity like a man pretending to be the angelic ghost of her father then anything’s believable Well the funny thing is, is that this could work in some respects in the book the phantom studied magicians and illusionists to convince her, he wasn’t human but in the play and movie, a lot of this illusions just wouldn’t look right like mannequins that change facial expression candles with moveable arms and even shooting literal fireballs out of his hands what is he, a super Saiyan? hey, hey Beth way to be phenomenally serviceable hey, we were gonna go have a god laugh by watching some of the movie, you wanna come with? yeah alright, good job Beth not, not great just… good [laughing] can you beleive the singing choices that they made in this? And here comes the laugh riot himself Gerard Butler as the Phantom [laughing off-screen] he never even sang before! And it shows! It’s no surpirse Butler was at the bottom of a long list of actors in line to play the Phantom this includes, John Travolta, Antonio Banderas Meatloaf Matthew Mcconaughey! They even looked at Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway I…guess that turned out well… But then Schumacher saw Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000 and thought, yes that’s the guy with no professional signing experience who should star in my musical and he was never grossly miscast again The phantom is supposed to be a dark, tormented creature who can teach you to sing like an Angel Boom! A Spartan jock who signs like sandpapper on an active machine gun This is, this is fun what we’re doing I like this um.. …open the door yeah thats right turn the knob you’ve done this a million times very good, push don’t pull that’s a common mistake don’t forget to close it behind you you weren’t raised in a barn there you go oh! good god it smells terrible down here what is that? Well it’s a sewer what do you expect? It kinda sucks out the romance! What, if the audience can’t smell it you can’t smell it! put your hand down Wait, you signing verbally or mentally? you keep going back and forth ugh, come on (to self) It’s Scottish doing French doing English sing, marginally well That’s actually a little too good No! you sound interested in what you;re signing don’t do that More breathing more gasping have the lungs of an asthmatic Stop! you sound like a person people would actually pay money to listen to remember your training! Sing like me! What was that? Sorry! My insticts took over or that of my years of actual experience from someone who doesn’t sound like a dying moose Hey! Ya gonna feed me or what? Ugh, yes yes i will feed you soon Yeah, was that a horse did I ride on a horse? Not that you cared! do you know how hard it is to raise a horse in the sewer? But it was done in the movie so I am bound to it yeah but it didnt make sense in the movie either The Phantom puts Christine on a horse and honest to god, horse in the sewers and carries her for only like a few steps that I’m pretty sure she could have walked by herself But wasn’t it a magical couple of steps? chicks dig horse, I read this [From horse of-screen] Food! Shut up! And on top of that the horse is never seen again he just disappears where does the Phantom keep a horse? Why does he keep a horse? How the hell did the horse attain the strength to carry a human being, if he breathed French raw sewage his entire life Yeah sure it was “in the book” but Andrew Llyod Webber took a lot out for the musical version and this was just about the worst thing they could have put back into the movie Well, have ever considered the possibility that I’m giving the horse signing lessons too!? What? oh yes I teach horses very differently from how I teach women Oh! I was wondering why my signing never sounded like yours I have also taught him the classic Phantom movie method of seduction Show her Buttercup But I need to exercise outside for muscular stability Just do it ugh, fine [coughing] o..kay! I think you’ve got the wrong idea of what made the Phantom sexy What do you mean? yeah come on this is pretty hot The Phantom’s seductive nature wasn’t from physical strength or, three quarters good looks on his face it came from his passion for music and his confidence as an artist and while his dominace and control normally came through psychological manipulation here it from a open shirted swordfight and even then he loses so they couldn’t even do that right Fine, I guess I’ll return you home don’t know why I thought mirror-napping you would draw you any closer to me anyway Oh good finally god knows everyone’s missing me back at the studio Hey, know where Beth went? I don’t know eh, who cares get a dress on eh, whatever [Nostalgia Critic Theme song plays] Okay, according to this the next song is the note song Oh god, is that one of those songs that’s supposed to be funny because everyone talks really fast? very clever, so maybe Oh, im sorry are we done? like, finally done? like the idea of people talking over each other, isn’t nearly as funny as you think it is done! Okay Please sirs another text Just read it Why, according to you guys I don’t even work here I’ll just let him read it Ow Bitch Gentlemen I have sent you several text messages on my cell phone ruining an otherwise sensible data plan I shall give you, one last chance Hyper Fan girls, not too good you see and I molded Beth into something like me in the new reviewing of the Phantom you will therefore cast dear fan girl as the toilet and give the starring role to bland subpar Beth I will watch the performance from my normal seat which, like the movie would be very easy to capture me if you wanted too but you won’t because you are stupid should these demands be ignored something really really really really really bad will happem maybe I’ll shit in the buffet or something but probably not that since I just gave it away by the way don’t eat the soup I remain your obedient servant F.G My review That was such a hilarious needed not over staying its welcome song that I pray like in the movie and play you have another hilarious, needed not over staying its welcome song right after that one! [signing] Hyper Fan Girl Fan-Fiction Okay I’m not subjecting you to that! especially when the movie has a set up that supports it so little In the play, it makes sense why the owners would want Carlotta over Christine she’s the bigger name but in the movie the fans are asking for Christine in fact, they literally tell Carlotta her public needs her right after the people cry out for Christine that not only makes no businesses sense it makes no common sense have you ever considered the possibility that maybe everybody on the production was high? No, I think that’s just you Chester Oh good so I must be imagining Beth not you right now Dah! Sweet cheeks! you’re back! Oh yeah, im fine you know don’t bother sending out a search party for me or whatever sorry, we’ve been really busy yeah like a phone call or one of those milk cartons we were singing such a funny song maybe a amber alert! everyone was singing over top of everyone else it was so hysterical okay okay, do you wanna call the police about this guy that kidnapped you? I couldn’t do that to him alright then do you just wanna go grab a bit or something? I said i couldn’t do that to him! maybe Macaroni Grill? well, while they’re doing their dress porn do you guys wanna go shoot the next scene? does Andrew LLyod Webber like to use five melodies? [Nostalgia Critic off-screen] Action! Critic! You have to put me in the lead! That’s right we just sang a song about it! Hyper, what’s this really about? I thought we were over yeah, but it’s hard to let things die well you’re gonna need to start [sad music starts playing] now if you don’t mind I’m busy alright lets take it from the top there there, pay no heed to him here I’ll show you some analytics Oh that’s a pity I will smoke three J’s in her honor Ah! Woah! This stuff works fast! The fandom hears you like making fun of his movie saying everybody’s high Yeah, but if you know me you know that’s not really an insult It’s time to destroy you! Just as Beth is about to become the lead But wait! Why would you do that? you ruin her chances of becoming a big hit It’s just like in the movie where in the play the death of the stagehand can be interpreted as the Phantom fighting of an attack from him in the movie he clearly goes after the stagehand during Christine’s big moment Thus completely sabotaging her success But why would he want that! One thing to understand about a fandom They rarely make any sense! Well, guess I’m gonna blow up No Chester, the Phantom doesnt have a bomb the entire movie’s the bomb Critic that wasn’t a stunt this man is dead Oh my God! Okay, lets shoot the love scene What! You want us to confess our love for another after we just watched a man die? Sure! they did in the movie They see a guy hang They escape to the roof They start making out it’s a totally natural thing to do oh, okay if it’s natural it is trust me murder is a total aphrodisiac now, start the music I can’t Yeah, those chunks of Chester are distracting clean up! No, I mean I…I can’t sing this You’re a wonderful singer snugglebottom Thanks little dumpling but that’s not what I’m talking about I’m too good to sing this crap In the Phantom movie a bunch of people who couldn’t carry a tune were allowed to record their own vocals but they insisted on dubbing over Minnie Driver who actually can sing so if she was too good to sing that crap I’m too good to sing this crap Okay, that’s bullshit if they dubbed the people who can sing then don’t dub the people who can’t we are not dubbing anyone in this musical at all! Now start singing with your natural voice [with the critics voice] Cut! beautiful and it is now currently six months later Wait it is? Oh yeah in the play there’s a narration to show the passage of time but in the movie it’s an incredibly sloppy transition look! you’re even engaged now! oh yeah, so I am care for a painful analogy for what’s happening in the show as well as our lives? Does anybody else thinks it odd that we’re signing about how colorful everything is and the only color is faded black and urine yellow? hey, I’m just amazed at how lame that guys red death mask is Hey buddy! nice dollar store costume! red death is supposed to be like this extravagant outfit you look like Zorro the gay blade stunt double [fandom music plays] Organ music must be the fandom yo! It is I have written you a new musical to perform a self inserted fanfaiction that is destined to become a classic! It is the sequel to the Phantom of the opera everybody has always wanted what if the Phantom and Christine had sex the night before the wedding and Raoul is a drunk broke gambler now and the Phantom is super succesful and hosts a carnival and Christine totally still loves him and her ten year old son is actually the Phantoms son and when she dies in the end the son goes to live with the Phantom forever I’d say you’ve been reading Hyper Fan girls live journal for too long This review is still mine you will sing for me Okay just don’t sing for us! Trap door I’m not sure why we had that installed Oh great, now we have to do a sequel to that crappy musical Wait you didn’t like the stage play? No, I mean its not bad it doesn’t represent the original story it misses the point on lots of occasions I don’t know what to say like every Phantom fan the idea of someone not like the show is inconceivable to me You do know it wasn’t a critical hit when it came out right? the only reason it ran for 30 years is because Rudy Giuliani murdered all the homeless and slack jaw rubson ohio suddenly weren’t afraid to go to Times Square anymore Away with you! Wait Beth, where are you going? Where all sappy dramatic musicals lead Why does no-one remember what an amazing novel you were? Sorry? oh, nothing just remarking on something pretty close to me how watching it fade is kinda like losing a friend Yeah, I know what you’re talking about And I thought my problems were bad Yes yes, boo hoo Beth, after all I’ve done for you tell me your hatred for the musical is not true I mean it’s okay but it took out the best parts of the book and stupid 80’s synth cheese Damn you! I know Beth the movie can be pretty tough to get through No, I was talking about the play I know, the movie that’s what I said I’ve come to grips with it no, I’m talking about Let me live in my denial Okay You! you betrayed me I’m fed up with this world now I will show you the true meaning of pain Ha Hey, yeah! not so tough are yah hey, word of advice jackass the Phantom is not a sword fighter he’s an illusionist literal smoke and mirrors to trick people where the hell does a guy in a sewere even learn sword fighting? The horse! Of course everyone knows they’re master swordsman! why else would you keep one around? en garde ass munch well you’re about to be put out of your misery No Critic not like this yeah, yeah yeah I think like this We have to do it, like in the movie even though we have him cornered and can end the blood shed right now we have to perform his magical play setting up a trap to catch him later I have a horse pointing a sword at me right now and that makes more sense than anything you just said Just do it Fine but if a cast member and or building gets destroyed I’m blaming you I have an idea Alright, lets wrap up this stinker Wait, I’m confused why am I wearing the mask now? Becasue in this version, Raoul is the real monster so, we’re having him wear the mask instead Then how come its jut a little bit of paint under here? Oh, that’s from the movie! But in every version of the story, the Phantom is horribly deformed usually in really creative and distinct ways how come this version looks like a bad sun burn? Because the Phantom is visually sexy now not psychologically It’s no worse than giving him a carnival freak show backstory okay, lets begin the song with Tim Phantom, what are you dong? I… I do not know no Phantom I am Tim whatever my last name is! It’s so obviously you you just wanna do a love scene in front of the world with what the hell is going on here? why are there two Fandumbs? There’s only one original Phantom around here oh my God is that Michael Crawford! Yes The young lady alerted me that my honor was being threatened okay, way to go Hyper This is absurd Alright Crawford show that no talent hack, what real singing is! Were we knocked out or something? You’ll wish you’d stayed that way You know this guy sounds pretty silly too You think! You know maybe this play isn’t as flawless as I remember it I gotta admit only time I believe the chemistry My mask! ah ha, now we’ll find who the Fandumb really is! I got a feeling the butler did it [together] Andrew Lloyd Webber! oh I was way off buddy? yes, it was me all along Wait a minute, your singing sounds just like Gerard Butler That’s why you cast him Yeah and this whole thing was just for your stupid Phantom sequal which was so bad its never been shown in the US and this from the country that turned ‘Bend and Snap’ into a musical number! Well you can’t blame a guy for trying can you You murdered a man! Oh yes that’s true well, I’d better be off then What the hell? Oh yes, don’t you know? horses fly My God, everyone should get a horse! I’m sorry I did what I did Critic I felt if one of us could remember the truth about the past Well maybe we both remember the past a little differently can we still be friends? Only if we’re the best! [car horn] Oh, that’s my date What! you were dating someone while you were trying to still get me? I have a life outside of you, Critic [Devil Boner] Come on Baby! Wer’re gonna be late to the Pottery Barn Oh you! So, what can we say about Phantom of the Opera? I mean like, all of it The book definitely stands on its own as a solid piece of work but even I’ll admit that it lends itself to a lot of interpretations whether its, Lon Chaney, creeping through the sewers in 1925 or a god awful video game from the mid 90’s so even if one isn’t your cup of tea you know there are several right around the corner the musical has a lot of cool things about it but it’s also very flawed with tons of plot holes clumsy lyrics and weird character choices to the movies credit, they tried to fix some of these problems but in doing so, they create a slew of others The movie is not a very good adaptation of either the novel or the musical but in all fairness, it’s not without some good moments the sets are nice the cinematography can be good but the most important investments like character and music completely miss the mark one thing all of these have in common though is that they are an experience whether it be through words music, or bat shit crazy film choices The Phantom will always leave us asking the question “What the hell did I just watch?” But hey, atleat its not ‘Love Never Dies’ I’m the Nostalgia Critic! [together] And We’re Shark Jumping! and… lets go buy a horse aren’t they amazing! They’re just so practical Um… Should I just show myself out? hello? don’t go! so be it! I’m forced to show myself out the door! Food! Shut up! Hey, Doug Walker here doing the charity shout out and you know I was gonna do another charity but then I realized we had a plug for OneStepCamp.org and I’m like, eh, lets do it again! There’s plenty of other charity’s we’ll get too uh, you know in future videos and such but the more I was thinking about it I’m like this is such a good charity and we’ve had, uh, first hand contact with them, we’ve been to this camp this is a camp for children who have cancer and we’ve seen it in action uh, we’ve seen it wrap up with all these children coming together and uh, at the closing ceremony and everything I mean its like it’s a phenomenal thing they’re doing because when you get this disease, you’re immediately kinda isolated from everybody and you feel isolated and this is a place where all of these kids can come together and they can be just be a kid they can do every day stuff without feeling like an outsider and it’s one of those places where there’s so much love there’s so much togetherness there is so much hope, there’s so much joy and so many of these kids who go there just say it’s one of the best experiences of their lives and its just a phenomenal thing and if you go to their website, if you go to their youtube channel and you look up all this stuff you’ll see all the incredible work that they do and it’s just such a good cause so many good people there and like I’ve said, we’ve had first hand experience with them and they’re just so fantastic so, please definitely go check out their website and definitely donate if you can because it’s going to such a fantastic cause so thank you so much for watching and yeah, next week we’ll have a different charity but trust me when i say it, it’s worth two shout outs uh, we’ve actually done several shout outs for them in the past becuase we like them that much and uh, he we are doing it again so, yeah, that’s about it I’ll see you next time take care

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

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