I Hate My Singing Voice, Help! – Felicia Ricci
Today’s video answers the question, “What do I do if I hate my voice?” And I know a lot of you have been there because I’ve read your comments, because I’ve read your emails, your tweets, where you say, “Fel, I listen to myself sing, either as I’m singing or on a recording, and I just hate it. I love to sing but I feel like I suck, what do I do? How do I get over that?” Really quick intro: Nice to meet you, my name is Felicia. You can call me Fel I’m a professional “Voice Finder” I make singing tips videos, I make online courses, and it’s my job to help you find your voice. Uhm, so many singers really get in their own way. Through mental blocks, through not knowing how to focus their practice. And it’s just my job to show you that singing is really, really simple. The first bit of advice I have for you if you absolutely hate the sound of your voice is for you to realize that you absolutely have the power to shape your tone. Singing tone- a lot of it is inherited, right? We all have vocal folds that are of a certain thickness we all have the most natural way of creating sound or of speaking so there is so much this genetic that we inherit. But in terms of vocal technique, there is so much that you can do, to shape the way you sound. I like to describe all of this as sort of vocal chameleons or that we have so many different colors in our color palette and you can really determine whether or not you know you wanna mix white (sound) with red (sound), to create pink (sound). You have different, basically, your voice is so much more versatile than I think a lot of singers realize. So the first step is to feel empowered to know that, “Okay, my voice might sound this way today but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna sound that way tomorrow. Or, several weeks down the line if I know how to direct my practice.” The second bit of advice I have for you has to do a little bit with the emotion and the heart behind singing and the self-love that singing requires. I like to draw an analogy between working on your singing with working on your body or exercising to achieve health, strength or to lose weight. Now both of them are sort of frost sometimes with some negative emotions or it can be really tricky pursuits but the key with both singing and with getting in shape is to both “Love yourself the way you are now.” but also love the process of change. If you’re constantly sending negative thoughts to yourself whether that’s negative thoughts about your voice in high sound or every time you look in the mirror before you go to workout you’re like, “Oh my god I look disgusting, I can’t believe that I look this way.” like “Oh my God I better hurry up and exercise.” That’s such a tricky, unproductive, and negative way to go about the process so there’s this sort of two minds that you have to have. “You have to know that you’re gonna work to better your voice, or better your body so you are committed to that progress, to that path. But it’s out of love that you’re doing it, you’re doing it out of love for your voice, for your singing, for your instrument, and love for your body. “ The next question I have for you if you’re someone who finds that you consistently hate your voice, is that I want you to ask yourself, “If you’re hard on yourself in general?” So often, hatred over our voices is a symptom of something else. Do you think that you don’t deserve to sing, do you think that you’re not good enough to sing? Do you think that it’s embarrassing that anyone would ever want for you to think that anyone would want to hear you sing? Are you telling yourself these more general negative thoughts on a regular basis? If so, the feeling of hatred or disapproval that you have for your voice is probably part of a larger pattern of limiting beliefs or negative thoughts that you have about yourself. And I invite you to really reflect. Sit down, journal about it, write about it, understand that the first step to getting rid of these thoughts is identifying them. Identifying the root causes behind it. Are you comparing yourself to other singers who you think are better? Is there someone in your family, is there someone in your class who you think is just so cool, or so pretty, or so good at singing that you’ll never be as good as them? Try to recognize, try to identify what are the deeper negative beliefs that you’re carrying with yourself that simply come to the forefront when it’s time for you to sing or when you listen to yourself sing. Because I assure you, the more you can love yourself completely, the more listening to yourself singing would feel like, “Okay, I did pretty good. I mean know I have ways to go, but hey listen to that I just hit that note.” You’ll start to see more of the positive about yourself, and from there your technique will grow by leaps and bounds. The final bit of advice I want you to remember if you’re someone who hates where your voice is now is to remember that sometimes, the best singing is the most interesting singing. It’s not necessarily the most perfect or technically amazing singing, it’s, “Are you able to interpret a song? Are you able to put yourself into the song? Is your voice something that is completely free of judgment and is just so completely you?” That to me and to so many others is what we listen for in singers. And I actually want to plug a quote that I just read. I was reading an interview with Allan Cumming, who’s an incredible actor, he’s a movie, and TV, and stage actor, and he sings. And I actually saw him in the original production of Cabaret (and I was like obsessed with him!) but I was reading his interview and he said, I sing how I speak and how I am. I have a nice voice, but you don’t come to see me to hear the sound of an incredible instrument. You come to hear someone interpret songs in an interesting way, and to get to know someone better.” I was like, “Allan Cumming, you are a genius!” It’s not always about being perfect and a lot of it is about just being who you are. So if you’re wrestling with those negative thoughts about hating your voice, or worst, thinking you are not good enough in general, it’s gonna be pretty hard to make progress when you’re carrying around that negative thought. So take it from Allan Cumming. He’s an amazing actor, he’s a really good singer, but mostly, more importantly, he’s a really interesting, he’s a really true singer. So take it from him, take it from me. I’ve heard so many singers and I always look for, “Are you telling me a story? Are you connecting with me? Do you love your voice?” If you love your voice, I assure you everybody else listening is gonna be like, “Wow, this singer is so true. So true to who they are. That we’re all gonna love your voice too.“ Well, thank you so much for watching this my friends. I hope this was a topic that you could connect with. Even if you’re someone who doesn’t hate your voice, but someone who can be self-critical, please leave me a comment and let me know if this resonated with you. If some of those limiting beliefs where you compare yourself to others, is that something that you find yourself doing? And don’t worry, we all do it. I’m not saying, “I’m just like an amazing person who never feels doubt on herself” — like absolutely not! But I would love to hear from you. Love your feedback. Also if you’re interested in this sort of thing definitely check out my channel, I have so many more singing tips there for you, that you can sink your teeth into so definitely check it out! And don’t forget to subscribe, so you don’t miss any future videos. Also, if you like the way I teach and feel like we clicked, definitely check out my completely free, belt singing course called, “Belting Crash Course”. It’s at BeltingCrashCourse.com You sign up. You get free videos delivered to your inbox along with text guides and audio downloads Basically, It’s my way of teaching you the simplest, most effective way to learn how to Belt Sing (sound) for Broadway, for Pop, for Rock, for that sort of thing So definitely check it out. It’s totally free! And I would love to keep working with you. Bottomline: thanks for watching. You guys are the best! I will keep putting out these singing tips videos. If you keep asking me questions, if you keep leaving a comment, they definitely help me come up with ideas for my future videos and my future online singing courses so, always appreciate your feedback. 🙂 And I hope you have a great day.