I Hate My Singing Voice, Help! – Felicia Ricci


Today’s video answers the question, “What do I do if I hate my voice?” And I know a lot of you have been there because I’ve read your comments, because I’ve read your emails, your tweets, where you say, “Fel, I listen to myself sing, either as I’m singing or on a recording, and I just hate it. I love to sing but I feel like I suck, what do I do? How do I get over that?” Really quick intro: Nice to meet you, my name is Felicia. You can call me Fel I’m a professional “Voice Finder” I make singing tips videos, I make online courses, and it’s my job to help you find your voice. Uhm, so many singers really get in their own way. Through mental blocks, through not knowing how to focus their practice. And it’s just my job to show you that singing is really, really simple. The first bit of advice I have for you if you absolutely hate the sound of your voice is for you to realize that you absolutely have the power to shape your tone. Singing tone- a lot of it is inherited, right? We all have vocal folds that are of a certain thickness we all have the most natural way of creating sound or of speaking so there is so much this genetic that we inherit. But in terms of vocal technique, there is so much that you can do, to shape the way you sound. I like to describe all of this as sort of vocal chameleons or that we have so many different colors in our color palette and you can really determine whether or not you know you wanna mix white (sound) with red (sound), to create pink (sound). You have different, basically, your voice is so much more versatile than I think a lot of singers realize. So the first step is to feel empowered to know that, “Okay, my voice might sound this way today but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna sound that way tomorrow. Or, several weeks down the line if I know how to direct my practice.” The second bit of advice I have for you has to do a little bit with the emotion and the heart behind singing and the self-love that singing requires. I like to draw an analogy between working on your singing with working on your body or exercising to achieve health, strength or to lose weight. Now both of them are sort of frost sometimes with some negative emotions or it can be really tricky pursuits but the key with both singing and with getting in shape is to both “Love yourself the way you are now.” but also love the process of change. If you’re constantly sending negative thoughts to yourself whether that’s negative thoughts about your voice in high sound or every time you look in the mirror before you go to workout you’re like, “Oh my god I look disgusting, I can’t believe that I look this way.” like “Oh my God I better hurry up and exercise.” That’s such a tricky, unproductive, and negative way to go about the process so there’s this sort of two minds that you have to have. “You have to know that you’re gonna work to better your voice, or better your body so you are committed to that progress, to that path. But it’s out of love that you’re doing it, you’re doing it out of love for your voice, for your singing, for your instrument, and love for your body. “ The next question I have for you if you’re someone who finds that you consistently hate your voice, is that I want you to ask yourself, “If you’re hard on yourself in general?” So often, hatred over our voices is a symptom of something else. Do you think that you don’t deserve to sing, do you think that you’re not good enough to sing? Do you think that it’s embarrassing that anyone would ever want for you to think that anyone would want to hear you sing? Are you telling yourself these more general negative thoughts on a regular basis? If so, the feeling of hatred or disapproval that you have for your voice is probably part of a larger pattern of limiting beliefs or negative thoughts that you have about yourself. And I invite you to really reflect. Sit down, journal about it, write about it, understand that the first step to getting rid of these thoughts is identifying them. Identifying the root causes behind it. Are you comparing yourself to other singers who you think are better? Is there someone in your family, is there someone in your class who you think is just so cool, or so pretty, or so good at singing that you’ll never be as good as them? Try to recognize, try to identify what are the deeper negative beliefs that you’re carrying with yourself that simply come to the forefront when it’s time for you to sing or when you listen to yourself sing. Because I assure you, the more you can love yourself completely, the more listening to yourself singing would feel like, “Okay, I did pretty good. I mean know I have ways to go, but hey listen to that I just hit that note.” You’ll start to see more of the positive about yourself, and from there your technique will grow by leaps and bounds. The final bit of advice I want you to remember if you’re someone who hates where your voice is now is to remember that sometimes, the best singing is the most interesting singing. It’s not necessarily the most perfect or technically amazing singing, it’s, “Are you able to interpret a song? Are you able to put yourself into the song? Is your voice something that is completely free of judgment and is just so completely you?” That to me and to so many others is what we listen for in singers. And I actually want to plug a quote that I just read. I was reading an interview with Allan Cumming, who’s an incredible actor, he’s a movie, and TV, and stage actor, and he sings. And I actually saw him in the original production of Cabaret (and I was like obsessed with him!) but I was reading his interview and he said, I sing how I speak and how I am. I have a nice voice, but you don’t come to see me to hear the sound of an incredible instrument. You come to hear someone interpret songs in an interesting way, and to get to know someone better.” I was like, “Allan Cumming, you are a genius!” It’s not always about being perfect and a lot of it is about just being who you are. So if you’re wrestling with those negative thoughts about hating your voice, or worst, thinking you are not good enough in general, it’s gonna be pretty hard to make progress when you’re carrying around that negative thought. So take it from Allan Cumming. He’s an amazing actor, he’s a really good singer, but mostly, more importantly, he’s a really interesting, he’s a really true singer. So take it from him, take it from me. I’ve heard so many singers and I always look for, “Are you telling me a story? Are you connecting with me? Do you love your voice?” If you love your voice, I assure you everybody else listening is gonna be like, “Wow, this singer is so true. So true to who they are. That we’re all gonna love your voice too.“ Well, thank you so much for watching this my friends. I hope this was a topic that you could connect with. Even if you’re someone who doesn’t hate your voice, but someone who can be self-critical, please leave me a comment and let me know if this resonated with you. If some of those limiting beliefs where you compare yourself to others, is that something that you find yourself doing? And don’t worry, we all do it. I’m not saying, “I’m just like an amazing person who never feels doubt on herself” — like absolutely not! But I would love to hear from you. Love your feedback. Also if you’re interested in this sort of thing definitely check out my channel, I have so many more singing tips there for you, that you can sink your teeth into so definitely check it out! And don’t forget to subscribe, so you don’t miss any future videos. Also, if you like the way I teach and feel like we clicked, definitely check out my completely free, belt singing course called, “Belting Crash Course”. It’s at BeltingCrashCourse.com You sign up. You get free videos delivered to your inbox along with text guides and audio downloads Basically, It’s my way of teaching you the simplest, most effective way to learn how to Belt Sing (sound) for Broadway, for Pop, for Rock, for that sort of thing So definitely check it out. It’s totally free! And I would love to keep working with you. Bottomline: thanks for watching. You guys are the best! I will keep putting out these singing tips videos. If you keep asking me questions, if you keep leaving a comment, they definitely help me come up with ideas for my future videos and my future online singing courses so, always appreciate your feedback. 🙂 And I hope you have a great day.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. I really struggle with this one. When I was a kid I had a solo in a Christmas production in church. When it was over, a kid I had gotten the part over came to me and told me I blew it, and should really just pack it in. I was maybe 7 or 8. And since then I refuse to sing in front of anyone at all. I am now 33. I find myself singing alone in the car, and these thoughts of not being any good just kind of take over and I turn off the music and drive in silence. This is really hard to get by. Any advice on that?

  2. Hi fel..fel can you tell me if a grown man could sing? My voice mostly come out of my core(throat) but its very low. When l am singing and listening; its like l feel great but when l recorde it than listening the sound/voice is too thich like a cow's voice. Can you give me some feed back please. Thanks so much.

  3. I clicked like and then unclicked just so I could click like again 😂 That was eye opening, and I don't mean about singing but about life.

  4. As a kid I used to love singing, and was quite good at it. But after a horrible year (age 8-9) with laryngitis, bronchitis, etc, it took a toll on my voice. It eventually went back to normal, but the constant teasing stuck with me. No one (at least on purpose) has heard me sing in 20 years. (Except my nieces and nephews) I'd rather have everyone think that I have a horrible singing voice. My brother still goes around telling people that this is the reason I don't sing.(and he still makes fun of me for it).

  5. Felicia Ricci please make video on how to sing like Kelly Clarkson because she has such a POWERFUL voice I also wanna sing like her. I sing but I can't hit high notes the way she does.. Please help!

  6. My disliking of singing comes from others saying I sing out of tune. It came like a shock to me when I first heard it. It is not very much out of tune, but a little bit. For some reason I cannot hear the hight of tone when I sing myself. So I can sing for myself, and like it, love it, but as soon as someone else hear, I stop. And also if I would hear a recording of my singing voice, and hear it is out of tune, I would not like it.

  7. My issue is I am a singer and writer and often imitate so many artists as that's how I've learned to sing. So I havent found my voice yet. My voice can range from Karen Carpenter thru Donna Summer Influences, and many more. I would love you to check out my soundcloud at Kar_free to provide feedback

  8. I feel like that i can sing pretty well also when i sing along songs etc ( family and friends have confirmed like my gf loved it when i sang) but then when i record myself and try to sing alone or only with backround music i just totally suck idk why ….
    Does somebody have an good advice i could need one cuz i wanna do covers o.o

  9. My friends rarely hear my true singing voice, normally I’m too shy to actually sing around them, but they still say that my “fake” (or what i call fake but they don’t think is fake) voice sounds good

  10. Wow this is such an amazing video❤️ it genuinely helped me a lot in many ways thank you ❤️✨

  11. Someone help me please.. my friends say that i sing.. ive recoreded my self on computers..and phones and i sound pretty good…but when i use a condense mic i sound horrible why?

  12. Well, I think I’m about the most critical person I know, and I torture myself over my singing. But this video and Felicia’s insights and attitude basically shrunk all of my technique-worries down to their proper perspective and made me feel a lot better. It really is more about being an interesting artist, I’ve always believed that to be true. And you can only get better if you have a positive attitude, something I need to work on. Thank you very much Felicia. I think you’re my singing spirit animal.

  13. I graduated from music school, but my singing confidence is non-existent. I want to do covers of songs and make originals, i can play while i am singing, but i feel like my voice is garbage. What should i do?

  14. This is super helpful, I’ve been struggling with this but I love the tip “love yourself and love the process of change”. Thank you for the great content!

  15. I think I sing pretty good, when I record I thing "yeah that doesn't sound so bad", but when I ask my friends they're like "well it's hard to listen"

  16. I need some help, i am not able to make the high notes in this song. (Chris Young – I'm comin' over). I know you recieve a lot of comments as mine, but it can help me a lot if you can make a video about this song or give me an advice. Thank you!

  17. I hate the natural tone of my voice. It's so thin and especially when I'm singing high notes, I sound like a very young kid or a girl. I think so and so do my friends.

  18. I thought I sang well until my friends told me I was bad. I don’t know what to do or practice. I love singing but there’s been a couple separate instances when people told me my voice was bad and high or that I “talk sing”? I love my voice but I have doubts now. I want to improve but I don’t know how to practice. Oof

  19. People say my voice is good but when i hear it myself ..It sounds awkward….Who should I trust?? Myself or the people who say my voice is good??

  20. I really don’t like any of my voice. Like neither my singing, or head voice is pretty. I’ve been singing since I was 4 and my voice was good until my voice changed and now I don’t even like my speaking voice.

  21. Well I hate myself so looks like I'll never become a good singer lmao. Which sucks cause I've been singing my whole life, I'm 14 and I'm taking lessons and I sound horrible for my age, and I've been taking lessons for 4 years.

  22. What helped me a bit, even tho I’m still not loving my voice, is to get your nasality sound away, sing with your mouth, not with your nose- that’s what I did. Focusing getting the sound out of your mouth.
    Keep your nose closed with your fingers and sing as long, or make tones, until the nasal sound is gone. You‘ll sound more clean for sure. But it takes practice until you can also do it constantly while singing actual songs. Mayb just sing them on „la“, since that is not a very nasale sound. And compare it with the way you sang before when you sang with your nose.

  23. Fel 💕 can you and your buddies make a video on effects when recording. It seems like i mess my music up when I add effects because I don’t know what sound to look for. idk if I’m doing too much or maybe not enough. Idk if I’m to loud or just right. Please help 🤦🏼‍♀️🙏🏼

  24. I actually like my singing voice for the most part, but there is one frequency in my singing voice which I absolutely can't stand. It's that sound when you make like a sheep or goat, the awful nasly ringing tone. The thing is, it's even there when I talk normally, that's why I hated my voice for so so long because I always felt I sound like a… well… gay gnome that just can't get out of puberty xD (and I'm 22 FYI).

    Any ideas how I could rid myself from that awful tone in my voice? My singing teacher always tells me it's all about resonance, that when I manage to get the resonance sweet spot then it will stop sounding that way, but it ain't changing. Did my singing teacher lie to me or what am I doing wrong?

  25. I’ve been singing since I was 2 years old. I have a pretty good singing voice. I just hate my tone! It doesn’t fit in anywhere 😩 It’s too soulful/crisp for rock. Not jazzy (runs, riffs) enough for soul/r&b. It’s too heavy for pop. I’m just not good enough for anything. It’s so hard to find a genre that I enjoy that fits me. I wish I had more rasp/grit for rock. Or more range, technical abilities for r&b.

  26. Start softly. Don't over do it. Like you're singing to a baby and don't want to try to scare it. Try different songs and genres. With some feeling too. That's my guess.

  27. I just did the first day of this 3 day performing arts workshop, and this video was really useful. Everyone says I'm too hard on myself. And in my head I am constantly telling myself you'll never be as good as this person, just give up. I compare myself to every person who is around my age and the same gender. It's awful and is destroying my life, I constantly fill my mind with negative thoughts, and I don't trust anyone if they say I'm a good singer. Like the first day of the workshop we were split into groups and I was with the oldest group, there were 3 other boys and I was okay when the two boys who were 17 sang, because I thought, okay i still have time for my voice to I prove. But then I head the 16 year old boy and lost it, he's so much better than me, and when it was my turn I was shaking and so nervous and I still don't believe in my singing. I'm constantly recording myself and I hate it, I hate the sound of my voice in general. I just wish I could change it.

  28. I can hit all the notes without sounding too flat, I can do riffs and run,s but when I hear my voice I HATE it so much. I cant get over it because i hear all the imperfections and it makes me cringe sooooooo much. EVEN when people tell me they like my voice.

  29. I'm feels good when i singing, until i recorded using my phone then i hear again my own singing voice..
    I crash that phone, i punch that phone because i really really don't like that voice, even i don't know who's voice is that..
    Help me Fell.. teach me please..😭😭😭

  30. I've been singing for about 4 years and I love it.. i always try to stay positive. I dont hate my voice when i sing or when recorded but i hate how my "tone" sounds.. it doesn't sound clean.. it's like shakira.. she can sing but her voice is a bit strange.. so what do i do about my voice.. really wanna sing but i sound like a goat hitting notes..

  31. I think I sound lovely in the shower, and when someone told me to sing jazzy like Sade, I liked how that sounded..https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQbsEvw4boQ..even tho l went flat a bit.

    Outside of that, when I sing "normal like l talk", l sound like a stuffy nosed white 12 yr old girl.

    I never sounded soulful or "black" and my voice is SOOO SOFT!!!

    I have a very hard time talking loud (or whispering as some ppl claim) and belting, or even singing out and loud. My throat also gets strained and weak after a few songs (outside my shower)….probably because my voice is so soft and weak.

    l always sing annoyingly soft, with a super nasal, trilly, white girl sound. Which l guess is fine for Broadway songs, but not so much when it comes to other types of music. I personally LOVE to sing country and Disney songs.

    And yes, l guess I ALWAYS compare my voice with EVERYONE else… and l usually don't give a hoot what others think. l guess l'm so self absorbed, that l care how come l don't have such strength and power behind my soft, wimpy, nasal voice regardless how many other compliments l receive from others.

    l guess l wish l did sound more like others, which is more of a mental thing l guess. But oh well. l unfortunately also say how disappointed my torso looks when l go to the gym as well.

    🙄🙄🙄🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

  32. Everything you said.. was like you were talking to me personally. Thank you! Your advice shut down Negative Nancy in my head.😊

  33. Yes, Felicia this video actually made me cry. I am so down on myself after 11 surgeries in 3 years, and my body being ruined, not to mention awful upbringing, and sexual assault my whole life including during military service. I was perceived as faking although you can't fake 11 surgeries, and although I retired at 100% disability from the coast guard directly which is unheard of, they treated me like utter poop. I after showing amazing work ethic and even surpassing my superior to the point, that no one would go to the higher ranking idiot. Including the higher ups which at one point told me thank you for being competent! No retirement certificates, no thank you from the president to my family for all their suffering during and well after my service. I also used to have the most amazing body that is now riddled with scars and stretch marks. So I used to look in the mirror like ew! Now I have recently lost 50lbs due to illness no one can diagnose, maybe its stress. So thats not an issue anymore. However, I have wanted to be a dancer singer my whole life and as a kid was very involved in choir. Then I chose to smoke icky and quit a few years ago, but my voice is not something i enjoy hearing let alone do i think anyone would want to hear it. Smoking ruined my voice and Aaliyah's death ended my dancing dreams. I am now stronger than I was going through boot camp, but these negative feelings are still here, I also have EDS – Ehlers Danlos Syndrome a connective tissue ailment which keeps me tense and in fight or flight mode. So this is harder for me than some. The TMJ is so bad I don't know if I will ever get to where you are because clenching is always constant with me. I refuse to give up though and wish I could meet with you in person so you can help me find my voice!! Thank you for these videos you are helping me more than the teacher I am paying! I would rather pay you!

  34. I hate my singing voice because other people have told me I have a horrible voice and it stuck and it hasn’t gone away.

  35. I hate my singing voice!!! But other people are always saying I gave them chills and I’m just like “Meh ok!” 😂🥺

  36. Thank you so much Fel! Your singing lessons really help me! I am a shy person who hates her voice but after watching your video.. I just feel like “it’s so damn true!” And now I feel so inspired and positive! Lots of love ❤️

  37. I hated my voice too so I didn't try singing.Well I'm 66years old just before Christmas I sang carols and realized this isn't bad.In 2months i have gained confidence along with a 2octive range and a life long love of singing.I would say that singing comes with A good sense of rhythem ,confidence hitting the notes remembering lyrics and ability to improvise if you can't remember lyrics.I will keep watching your videos.Your the best.

  38. it's probably everytime when i try to produce a single sound, people nearby will say "stop it u're annoying", or later on they'll make a sarcastic question "how's your singing ?"

  39. I just want to be good enough to make demo tapes for my songwriting. If I can get there that would be a dream come true because I love songwriting despite not being able to carry a tune.

  40. I have been subscribered to your channel for quite a while now. I know that I have made progress from the time that I started with your belting course till about a year-and-a-half ago. Your words helped me understand that my not moving forward had nothing to with my singing capabilities and everything to do with a 36 year-old family secret. and the only way my mind you have to deal with it is to subconsciously I put up a brick wall between emotions and reality. Clicking on your video was like me picking up a hammer and your words speaking to my soul saying it's okay take to my first swing. It took me three tries to try to write this because I couldn't stop crying because I didn't realize on my own that it was deeper issues other than just my vocal cords and my breathing so I just want to say thank you for fal I've done years of therapy with licensed doctors that could not help me see through that. Thank You so much.
    REAL TALK FROM
    THE PURPLE🦄UNICORN
    MISS D.P.C.A.
    DEUCES ✌️

  41. I really whant to be a singer and musician and songwriter but my parents tell me it never going happened .

  42. I am a great singer but recording it oof it sounds like my voice sliced in to a poo voice 💩 like whaaa
    Heeelp I want my recording voice to sound like what I hear my voce

  43. John Lennon never seemed to like his singing voice, which is inspiring considering he influenced so many people with his voice.

  44. Great advice! Very true, we (everyone who's a singer or wants to be a singer) are a very self-conscious crowd. But that's a good thing. Being self-conscious is the first step to becoming more self-aware. Like others here, I thought I was a pretty good singer until I recorded myself and then thought, "Is that what OTHERS hear?" But, the trick is to learn from it and work at becoming better. (I'm still working on it, and even though it will take a while, I see it as a way to keep improving). 🙂

  45. You have no idea how much this vedio helped me.. I spend more than 2 days crying because i messed up at singing and i was the only one, cuz even kids did better in the same rehearsal.. And i hated my voice more than before, i remained silent feeling sick every time i start singing, now i now yhe reasons and I'm gonna fix things up 💕
    Wish me luck 🌻

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